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Not only was I not white, I also didn’t possess the effeminate and ‘camp’ mannerisms that the men on these shows displayed, and were so loved for. Any feminine qualities I once possessed, I had been taught to hide. I had nothing in common with the gay men represented in mainstream media. Most were depicted as overtly feminine, white males and I just couldn’t relate to these personas. I remember my parents once saying that they liked ‘gay, white men’, (having seen and embraced these token comedic characters on tv) but ‘felt sick’ at the idea of a gay, black man. What I knew of gay culture, growing up, came from homosexual characters featured in British television sitcoms. Growing up I often questioned my sexuality although I recognised and accepted my attraction to men, I knew from a young age, that there would come a time when my parents would discover I was gay, and that this would be a significant and extremely difficult moment in my life. I think there was an aspect of that,” Bill explained.Jamel on his experience as a gay, black manĪs a homosexual man of British-Caribbean decent, I have struggled my entire life to satisfy the expectations of the black community, while still staying true to my gay self. I don’t know if it was because if they were feminine, that reminded me of parts of myself I didn’t like.
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“I was always drawn to people who were masculine. He shared that being bullied for being feminine as a child shaped his perception of his ideal mate. Moreover, Bill, an older gay man, only somewhat agreed. “I do like masculine men as well then I was kind of taking a step back, why is that? Why do I like that? Am I being kind of force-fed that?” “Yes, there’s a lot of innate attraction of what you like, but I think there’s a lot of social pressure that you don’t even realise is happening subconsciously that you’re trained to like,” he explained. In the rest of the video, Ellis, who “somewhat disagrees” with an attraction to masculine men, steps in to signpost that one’s sexuality is more based on socialisation that expected. ‘There’s a lot of social pressure’ to like masculine guys.Įllis, the man seen at the end of the clip, became a hero on Twitter after he looked directly into the camera, face strained, eyes conveying annoyance and several internal screams all at once. “How can you depend on a masc guy for growth when you can’t even grow with a femme person like yourself?” questioned one user. I hope he finds the help he needs to truly accept himself.Īnd others where weary of Josh’s logic for dating masculine men as individuals he can see himself “grow with”. And 6 years later I’m so thankful I kept an open mind.Īlthough, a handful of users doubted Charlie’s self-declaration as masc.Īnd even worse, he’s claiming femininity is beneath masculinity. Say yes to the date with the guy you never imagined for yourself, that’s how I met my husband. Like just be yourself, and admire people for their uniqueness. The labeling of masculine/feminine is so… simple. “It’s also disgusting to see these men hate on fem gay men when fem gay men are the ones that can carry themselves through their whole lives and be proud,” he added. Michael went onto discuss that attraction to masculinity and femininity is valid, “but to basically say that if someone’s feminine, they will not be equal too you and insinuating they will be less then you is literally misogynistic. These gays have internalise homophobia and have the mind frame that because they are masculine, they are better. He said he wants ‘equality’ and for that to happen, he wants another masculine male. “These gays have internalise homophobia and have the mind frame that because they are masculine, they are better.”Ĭan we really take in what the last guy said.
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“He said he wants ‘equality’ and for that to happen, he wants another masculine male. “Can we really take in what the last guy said,” emphasised Twitter user Michael. What's sad is lots of gay men are like this.Ĭharlie proved as the crux of contention for many users, who slammed him as a symbol of “‘straight’ acting internally homophobic” men. I can understand preferences, but it becomes grey and white for me when we stipulate a masc/fem thing holding masc guys to high standards. And many gays wonder why they remain single and alone.